A few months ago I flew back to Maryland for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary celebration. A pile of relatives converged at a local hotel for wedding cake, photos, and catching up. The topic that inspired the most hilarity had to be Xango juice, the latest fad cure-all: "The World's Newest Phytonutrient Discovery, from the World's Most Exotic Fruit!" as the glossy brochure puts it. So after the cynicism of my family, why is the house inundated with promotional materials? My incredible wife has become a dealer.....So here's the hype:
"Xango Juice boasts a proprietary whole–fruit formula, harnessing a concentrated rush of xanthones—a vigorous family of next–generation phytonutrients. Sounds complex. But here’s the straight scoop. Research shows xanthones possess potent antioxidant properties that may help maintain intestinal health, strengthen the immune system, neutralize free radicals, help support cartilage and joint function, and promote a healthy seasonal respiratory system."
The Mangosteen fruit, common in Southeast Asia, is the source of these strange, super antioxidants. To date, I'm the only member of my new Montana family still crying placebo effect. I've chugged down large amounts of this hideously expensive tart liquid and feel just fine, but not revolutionized. Maybe I just need to learn to like it. Or believe.
4 comments:
What does being a dealer entail?
Summer 2002, Jenny sold more Cutco knives than anyone else in the state of Montana. She's got talent. At any rate, she sent away for a promo pack, and I think it's a similar type of pyramid scheme-sell a certain quota move up etc.
And will there be a blog about your relative positions on the Political Compass?
One of my work colleagues, on seeing my bandage-swathed head, has urged XanGo juice upon my wounds.
Her conviction that this cures arthritis and cancer, as well as being an excellent face-moisturiser, leads her to surmise that this will also do well when dabbed onto my head stitches.
Any thoughts, before I apply?
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